10/08/2024
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
➡️MIND IF WE HAVE A LITTLE ⛪️ ON HERE?
📣 I NEED TO WITNESS TO YOU TONIGHT
🙏 PLEASE DON’T MISS THE BEST PART AT
THE END!
Today I knocked over a soda and made such a mess. But I woke up today feeling much better and frankly humbled. Because God gave me just enough desire to get up off my tail and start to CLEAN UP the mess from the soda. And that made me realize that I had
made a much bigger mess these past few days.
Part of the drink had spilled onto my Bible cover. As I wiped it clean people who I had been arguing with came into my home office to talk with me and also listen. I felt the evil thoughts leave my body. It’s a very good feeling when it happens.
I would never end my life on purpose. I do have depression and severe panic and anxiety. And as
a recovering addict, I can often be very selfish, annoying, and just downright cruel.
I also consider myself to be blessed and a Christian. I’ve yet to meet a perfect Christian.
It seemed like I was being judged and pranked and victimized when the sheriff’s office loudly woke
me up at 5 a.m. I got even more angry.
Some of the anger is from real situations that I can’t comment on citing ongoing events and investigations that are ongoing. I’ll just say it’s nothing you think
It could be. And I’m not in trouble legally.
But I am walking a troubled and slippery slope that I’m trying to take a more solid path, cleared out for
me just enough by the Holy Spirit that already knew a long time ago that I would needing it.
I can’t change the past but I can do this: I can ask for your forgiveness for venting out my issues on you and causing so much worrying and pain. When my heart flutters and my mind attacks my nervous system- something I can’t control or “predict” or have fixed by the best doctors and specialists, I feel cornered and overwhelmed. I even post cries for help as a messed up thought to hurt others so I can feel like I “fit in”. But I already fit in!
The Lord already knows very hair on my head and he’s sitting right here beside me because I know
I need HIM. Money or no money. Meds or no meds. We don’t just fit in, we are His and we are the most
valuable people He created just the way we are.
I’m just so sorry and thankful for your support and love and hundreds of texts, messages, cards,
Voicemails lately. 😣
🙌I have food in my belly thanks to your heartfelt response to help me out in such an impressive way that I’m linking up with my fellow Christian friend and VIPIR Sponsor Shelter Construction Services Danville
💰⚒️to personally send a large portion of the money donated to areas hardest hit by flooding and damage from Hurricane Helene to those in desperate need of help with the basics of life we are blessed with even on our “worst days” that people like me complain about and often take for granted.
I wanted to make this post mainly to witness to you. If you don’t have a Bible, buy one right now. Download online versions and look up scriptures. Don’t just wa devotional, read it. Folks, the Bible is ALIVE. It can pierce the coldest of hearts and change your entire life in ways that you can’t even comprehend.
I was upset when the caring deputies just doing
their thankless jobs knocked loudly on my front door and returned again few minutes later because they told me they heard something.
It was probably me slamming my bedroom door in
a rage.
Then it hit me today.
“Keep knocking and the door will be opened”
God was working through the deputies and through my own anger to remind me of how God works and that while I face difficulty (even when it’s my own fault) Jesus Christ NEVER LEFT MY SIDE! ❤️
Now things are getting better daily…
And I have a lot of true “work” to do each day.
But it’s a true blessing. One day at a time.
The Living Word is the only book that’s read me
as I’ve read it.