Never...ever...try this at home!
Only properly trained bartenders in cartoons can accomplish this feat. So, given that you are a real person (presumably) and not a cartoon bartender...you should not try this. Ever.
Drink responsibly and not accidently chop off your hand when serving yourself, or others, a beer.
It is one thing to relax with some wine...
But when one glass turns into two bottles...it's time to go to bed before you waste that last glass by drunkenly spilling it on yourself.
Please drink responsible, you only have so many shirts you can ruin with wine...
This is NEVER a good idea!
Getting drunk before driving, or driving drunk, is a really good way to make your life far more complicated.
For starters, after you get pulled over and you fail the sobriety test in a spectacular fashion, you will spend the night in jail...with other drunks who may or may not be vomiting up the fun time they had that evening.
And right before you get to sleep on a bench at Hotel Drunk Boy, you will get to make a phone call to your partner...who will not be pleased with you.
Then there will be the court date. Suspension of your license. Fines and lawyer bills totaling in the thousands of dollars. All sorts of wonderful things you could do without...
So, please drink responsibly...and avoid a not so fun end to the evening.
If you find yourself drinking straight from the bottle in your bathtub...clearly things have gone horribly, horribly wrong in your life.
The first step to get back on track is to put the bottle down, then get out of the tub. Believe it or not, but getting drunk in your bathtub will not improve your situation in life...it will only get worse.
Please drink responsibly and remember...you REALLY don't want to pass out in your tub....
Halloween is a holiday full of parties, horror movies and spooky fun! People get wonderfully creative with cocktails...and often make the drinks quite strong. So, you have to be careful when drinking and know when to say when.
Bob and his friend Quasimodo didn't know when to say when. They had a bit too much and decided that they wanted a skull for a Halloween decoration. Of course, they were a bit too loud when digging (they were playing "Don't Fear the Reaper" by The Blue Oyster Cult at a high volume) and the police were called and showed up just as they reached the coffin...
Don't be like Bob and Quasimodo and get arrested for robbing a grave. Drink responsibly and watch a horror movie instead....
Please drink responsibly.
This nightmare is NOT something you want to see for real!
Seriously, if you get so drunk that you get your own dog drunk...or worse, some random dog off the street...and this what you see...then you will absolutely freak out!
We all have rough days at work from time to time. And sometimes, having a glass of wine, a beer or a tumbler of scotch to sip at is a nice way to relax after a not-so-great day at the office.
Day-drinking at your place of work, in front of your boss is NOT a way to handle work stress. While you may become a legend amongst your co-workers...you will most likely get fired as a result.
Drink responsibly...telling off your boss while intoxicated is not a wise career choice. Nor satisfying as you most likely won't remember it...
It's quite alright to be happy when drinking. Alcohol can make one feel quite fine.
Just be aware that too much booze can make you as happy as a toddler that just ate ten pixie sticks and has engaged in a highly destructive joy rampage.
Please drink responsibly...after all...do you really want to relive your kindergarten years during a live stream on YouTube?
It's fun to have a beer and be social with your friends. It's also fun to have a drink as you are out making new friends!
But you may have had too much to drink if you don't realize you've been talking to a mirror image of yourself, and believe you've made a lifelong friend with an amazing ability to listen and be awed by your drunken ramblings on your theory as to why the Baltimore Ravens are secretly cosmic gods of the universe.
Drink responsibly: no one wants to hear about the universal cosmic gods masquerading as members of the Baltimore Ravens....
Beer, wine and spirits are meant to be enjoyed. We celebrate by having a glass of champagne. We watch sports while drinking beer with fellow fans. Enjoy wine at dinner or on the porch with your partner. Have a rousing good time with friends and a bottle of spirits.
Have fun! All we ask is that you know when to say when.
Because its a short step from having a good time and being arrested for getting an ant eater drunk.
Don't be that guy who gets a zoo animal plastered...please drink responsibly!
Bob chugged a large glass of beer. At first, he was fine...until all of the alcohol hit him at one time. All of the alcohol. All at the same time.
His wife found him three hours later lying on his back at the 18th green singing the Alphabet song.
She was not amused.
Don't be like Bob, drink responsibly and take the time to actually enjoy your beer.
The drunk dance is a dance no one should learn how to do.
It involves loss of balance, awkward movements and attempts to right oneself and failing to do so in the most embarrassing and memorable way possible.
And remember, there is ALWAYS a person with a cell phone recording you doing the drunk dance to post online later...for all of the internet to see.
So, to avoid having to explain your actions to your spouse, or to avoid having to endure the standing ovation from your co-workers...please drink responsibly.
And remember: the drunk dance ALWAYS ends with you falling to the ground with absolutely no grace whatsoever...
