04/01/2024
Story time!
Today while working the counter and helping a customer, I noticed the doorbell go off but didn’t pay any attention to who it was as I was busy. Slowly though, I noticed the store had become completely silent. The customers in line had stopped their conversations and were all standing there, eyes pointed at the floor, looking rather uncomfortable. Even the customer I was currently helping, who was a regular and usually very chatty, cut me off mid-sentence and rushed to finish the transaction and leave. Slowly I got through the line of people, all of them rushing out like the first, all avoiding eye contact with me. I was thinking this was very strange, when the second to last customer stepped out of the way, revealing the last man in line. Standing before me was a man I’d never seen before, completely n**e, with only one of our sandwiches covering him. I instantly froze. Why had no one said anything before he got to the front of the line?? What am I supposed to do?? Before I could speak, he said “Excuse me, I’d like to return this sandwich”. All I could utter was “… what??” He grinned and repeated himself “Ma’am I need to return this sandwich. It was soggy.” I slowly began reaching for the bat under the counter. “Sir, I can’t take that back. I’m going to need you to leave.” The smile dropped off his face. “Listen here,” he said angrily, “The sandwich was soggy. Inedible, in fact. I’d really like my money back for it.” “Sir,” I replied, “I can see that you’ve eaten a whole half of the sandwich. It clearly was not inedible. In fact, there’s a few bites taken out of the other half. There’s hardly any sandwich left!” The man was beginning to turn red. “I refuse to pay for this sandwich! It’s laundry day and I really need some quarters. Please just take the sandwich back” I sighed and put down the bat. Maybe it really was laundry day and this man didn’t have any clothes left and just needed quarters. “Alright, how much do you need for laundry? You can even keep the sandwich.”
If you’ve read this far, you’re probably wondering how on earth I didn’t kick a naked man out of the store or call the police. I have just one question for you, do you know what today is? I’ll remind you. It’s April First. Happy April Fools Day 😉