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11/07/2020

Anx Doc🌹

Hemorrhoids: 19 Tips to Cure It
By Dr. Willie Ong

Q. Dear Doc Willie, Recently, I experienced this pain in my butt. One time, I felt a fleshy material coming out of my a**s. What is this? Can you please help? (Joy, 29 years old)

Hemorrhoids (also called piles) is a very common problem affecting people in their twenties and older. Did you know that by the age of 50, almost half of the population will have some form of hemorrhoids?
What are hemorrhoids? Normally, the inside of our a**s (the hole where you defecate) has blood vessels surrounding it. However, through years of straining, poor diet, or childbirth, these swollen veins may slowly protrude out of your a**s. These are called hemorrhoids and they may get entangled and bleed when you move your bowels.
Aside from the frightening sight of fresh blood, hemorrhoids can also become excruciatingly painful. At the early stages, hemorrhoids can still retract back inside the a**s, but later on, these can be permanently stuck outside.
Who are at risk? First, we can blame our genes. If our parents have hemorrhoids, we are likely to develop it, too. Second, constantly straining can cause hemorrhoids. For women, childbirth and the strain of delivery herald the start of their hemorrhoids problem. Fourth, a diet high in spicy foods can also be irritating to the blood vessels in the a**s. Lastly, those people who engage in a**l s*x are at high risk.

Tips to Prevent and Treat Hemorrhoids:
1. Eat high-fiber foods. To soften your stools, eat lots of fruits like papaya, watermelon and grapes, and also high-fiber vegetables like cabbage, kangkong and okra. Try to drink eight to ten glasses of water every day.
2. Don’t rely on certain drugs. Laxative medicines like Bisacodyl tablets are not a cure for constipation. It will help you with one bowel movement, but it will leave you more constipated afterwards.
3. Consider fiber supplements (like Metamucil) to soften your stools, especially if you’re not fond of vegetables. However, you need to drink eight glasses of water daily if you take these supplements.
4. Lose weight. If you are overweight, there is an increase in the pressure in your abdominal and waist area. This will also translate to more pressure in the veins in the a**s.
5. Reduce salt intake. Too much salt in your food can lead to swelling of the body, including swelling of the hemorrhoids. Salt is also bad for your blood pressure.
6. Avoid spicy and hot foods (as in chili). These spices are irritating to the hemorrhoids. Some doctors say you should also avoid drinking too much coffee, beer and soft drinks.
7. Important tip! Avoid straining in the bathroom. Don’t force yourself to defecate when you still don’t feel like it. Try walking and exercising first to facilitate your bowel movement.
8. Don’t read newspapers, magazines, and novels while sitting on the toilet bowl waiting for your stools to arrive. Choose to sit on the bowl when you already have a great urge to move your bowels.
9. Don’t lift heavy objects. The stress of lifting heavy objects is equivalent to the stress of straining in the bathroom.
10. Avoid sitting or standing too long, because this will place increasing pressure on the hemorrhoids. Sit and stand alternately throughout the day.
11. Try using petroleum jelly. According to Dr. Edmund Leff, a colon and re**al surgeon, you can try applying some petroleum jelly around the a**s before you defecate. This can help smoothen the passage of hard stools, and hopefully avoid injuring the hemorrhoids.
12. Never use dry tissue paper. Use very wet tissue or running water to wash yourself after moving your bowels. Scraping with rough paper can make the hemorrhoids bleed.
13. Keep your a**l area clean. Clean yourself meticulously so as not to infect the hemorrhoids. A bacterial infection can lead to an abscess in the a**l area. Be clean and careful, too.
14. Don’t scratch it. Sometimes hemorrhoids can be itchy, but try to avoid the urge to scratch it.
15. If you’re pregnant, lie on your left side often. According to Dr. Lewis Townsend, an obstetrician, the enlarging uterus may impinge on the blood vessels of the hemorrhoids. To lessen the pressure, Dr. Townsend advises pregnant women to lie on their left side for 20 minutes every five hours or so.
16. Soak in a warm tub or basin. Fill a bathtub with 6 to 12 inches of lukewarm water. Then, sit on the bathtub with your knees raised. Do this several times a day. According to Dr. Byron Gathright, a colore**al surgeon, the lukewarm water improves blood flow in the area and reduces pain and swelling. If you don’t have a bathtub, try using a large basin. You can also buy a hot sitz bath from a medical equipment store.
17. Alternately, you can try an ice pack. If the hemorrhoids are itchy or painful, placing an ice pack beside it may reduce the symptoms. Wrap a towel around the ice pack so it won’t be too cold. Apply the ice pack for a maximum of 20 minutes, three times a day. Don’t overdo it.
18. Consider some creams. There are ointments and suppositories available such as Proctosedyl or Ultraproct. These won’t cure your hemorrhoids but it can numb the pain. Don’t use these for more than a week.
19. Try gently pushing the hemorrhoids inside. According to Dr. Townsend, if the hemorrhoids are not too big, you may still try to push it inside the a**s. This will lessen the risk of injury and bleeding.

When should you see a surgeon? There are certain situations to watch out for: (1) If there is any sudden increase in pain; (2) if you feel any new mass in the area, which could be a wart or an abscess; and (3) if there is a non-healing wound in the area. Although we usually blame hemorrhoids as the cause for bloody stools, you should also consult a surgeon to make sure there are no other serious causes.
Of course, if your hemorrhoids are bothering you (because of its size or pain), you need to see a doctor. Don’t worry. Surgical procedures for hemorrhoids are simple and safe. Trust your surgeon. I do.

03/01/2020

Hey, my name is Lorna. I've been in and out of relationships but there is this one that changed my life. I'm not the same person I was the year before the last.
So I got into a relationship with a man of God that steered to me being engaged for matrimony. The first two months of the relationship, everything was good, it was like an answered prayer. Nearly too good to be true.
On the third month everything went south, it started with very small things. One day during one of my visitations he broke down, cried like a little boy, apparently he had seen me standing and talking to a man in a queue. Mind you, I was never at the place he allude to that day to start with. He made me swear and vow that I won't leave him no matter what. That was just the beginning of the nightmare and abyss I went through.
For one I had to leave the church I was serving at to prove my comprehensive loyalty because he had issues with that church, of which I stupidly did. I was enforced into submission and according to this man justifying myself in an argument was a form of disrespect, insolence and cheekiness. In that way he was always right and I was always off beam. At the end of the day he'd say things like "O akanya gore o tla dirisa bontle jwaago go bona banna, whether you stay or leave I'll still be the same person I was. Ba bantsi ba tsile ba tsamaa ba ira yaaka wena yaana." Those words vexed my soul.
Matters got out of hand one day. That day when I got to his place, he was leaning on a pillar, and he grabbed me, twisted my hand and pinned me against the wall. I was alleged of dropping out of a man's car. I took a combi until I dropped off and walked till I got to his house. I was so bamboozled, I started assuming something was psychologically wrong with him. I insisted he seeks help because I was troubled. He broke down again said I wanted to leave him because he doesn't have anything, but that wasn't the case.
Each and every time I was on my way out of the relationship he would impend to kill himself. He would pull maneuvers just so I won't leave.

Believe them when they say all that splendors is not gold. In front of people I was the love of his life, I was his woman of God, the apple of his eye. In front of his friends he declared his never-ending love for me, behind closed doors I was told my presence or nonexistence won't make any difference. He introduced me to a lot of men of God, great men of God. By the way the same men he introduced me to, he'd tell me their defects and shortcomings and how they discipline their wives. He'd tell me how their wives are submissive and all the bad stuff they are doing. In his circle he was the alpha, esteemed himself to be better than them and matured spiritually.

This man of God and I continued like that. He wanted to know my every association. I'd hang out for lunch with my colleagues, he'd call around the same time or we’d talk on WhatsApp asking me questions like "who are you with? What are you doing? You ain't with boys’ right "in response I would send a pic to prove that I'm not up to anything bad. When my battery dies while I'm at school, it developed an issue. I had to give him some of my colleagues’ numbers just so he keeps in check with me. They'd say things like "wena o mo tronkong shem." I'd simply say he is insecure, it was more than that.
I believed in transparency. He knew all my passwords, had his way around my phone as he wished. He would tell me block so and so, “I don't want any guy near you.” I even had to cut off some of the girls in my contacts, I had to leave some Christian groups because some of the brothers complemented me. I had my way around his phone too, but I believed he was faithful and wouldn't do anything I wouldn't do.

The man of God had a baby mama. I later found out he had two WhatsApps. The one where everyone knows about "us" and the other one where he'd put the baby mama as a status. I was furious when I found out, but because mfundisi believed in submission he would literally kneel and ask for forgiveness. And say stuff like "Lorna hlemma I've knelt before you, I've never lowered myself like this in front of any woman, there is nothing going on between nna le baby mama." I'd contemplate he told the truth because they'd fight over the phone in my presence. For all I knew the baby mama was blocked in the main app and I didn't have his "secretive" App number. Either way, I let the issue go and went on with the relationship.

I recollect one time things got so intense between us, we argued so much that he ended up slapping me. He was the first man ever to do such a thing. While I was still in shock another slap landed on my cheek. I whimpered like a baby. I had no idea what to do. From there he uttered this words "o tlile go nkitse sentle ngwananyana ke wena, today you're not leaving this place alive "in my head I thought this is it. Rip to me. "O batla go swa neh Lorna" he said. I begged for my life. Something I had never done before. I was begging for my life in a man. "Kana nkago siela blue death wa swa, nxla thipa ele ekae tota " he continued. He was staying at his mother’s house. He was 33, I was only 24. At that moment in horror I requested to go to the toilet, he allowed me. That was my dying wish, he waited for me by the door. Inside the toilet I thought I should pray. Of which I did. I gave my life into God's hands because I was dying that day. He couldn't find the knife he was looking for at the time.

My face was swollen. He didn't allow me to go home that day and so I slipped into his bed and tried to sleep, but I was far from sleeping though I closed my eyes and summon up what just happened. I couldn't sleep. When I opened my eyes he was looking straight into my eyes in an eerie way. He wasn't even blinking and he said "look what you made me do. I don't want to lose you to anyone I was scared. Lorna why are you doing this" I didn't have strength to say anything and so I closed my eyes and went back to be dead to the world.
He didn't want me to go outside because he didn't want people to see him the way he is. I'm a light person in complexion and so my face had turned red and I had a pink eye the following morning. I couldn't open up to any person. I didn't know who to turn to. I borrowed my cousin's specs to hide the whole thing and I could go outside after a few days... I was staying with my friend then, when I got home I told her everything that happened she was shaken.
I finally made a decision to break up with him. Something else came up as usual. All this happened before I was engaged.

Hear me out on this one, I'm not looking for an excuse so that at the end of the day I call men trash. I'm not in any way looking for ambiguity to call men of God "phony" and I'm not in any way sharing my story so that I be consoled. Nope, I'm not one of Facebook motivational reciters, I'm just a girl who went through a lot but mercy altered her story. I had lost my faith, I was crushed, at some point I even questioned God's reality. I wasn't going to any church apart from the one he would want us to visit. Could a man of God turn into a monster like that? I felt foul and dead inside. I felt numb. Disoriented. But I was also good at covering everything up.

It went from being told I'm not the only beautiful girl around. To being accused of cheating, to my hand being twisted and being pinned against the wall. To being suffocated with a pillow and finally to being slapped. Everything happened so fast.

After being battered by moruti, I stayed home for a few days and told myself I had scratched him off. I blocked him everywhere. But because he had a tendency of asking for people's numbers, he had my friend's. He would call nonstop, cry on the phone and threaten to kill himself. He knew our neighbor and so he'd come by, pretending he is checking on him. I unblocked him after something like a week. He endlessly sent me crying emoji’s. Sending voice notes and begging me to forgive him and crying on the other end, of course I disclosed this my colleagues at school all this things. They felt sorry for him and thought I should forgive him. I thought long about it but before I knew it I had forgiven him "AGAIN!"

Eliciting the subsequent incident I had an exam that week. I usually took two combies to school...a route 7 and 10. That morning I dropped off and waited for another combi. Time was not on my side and so I called and asked him to take me to school of which he agreed. While I was waiting I saw a woman carrying a toddler crossing the road joining me and other people who were standing there. On a call I heard her saying "ee ke go emele? Ke batla go isa ngwana spatela." I didn't worry me because I never knew her. Moruti arrived at the stop, the same woman jumped and started going towards the car, and she approached and opened the front door. Standing there in shock I couldn’t fathom what was happening. They argued for a minute and he called out to me "Lorna let’s go!" The only thing that was on my mind then was the exam I had. I was already late and so I got into the car ko morago.

Mo tseleng she started in anger "Ke nna mmago bana ba gago and I told you this girl wa 're kgaoganya. Ke nna mosadi wa gago" I didn't want to strain myself so I kept my cool and just listened. He responded "mosadi wa ga mang? Nna le wena re kgaogantswe ke batsadi. Waabo o simolla akere? Ake batle go lwa lwena. Gape o reetse mang ore o isa ngwana spateleng."
The baby mama wanted the car to take her to the clinic instead it was heading to school. Mo tseleng she got furious and dropped off by the robots tsa spar. Nna tota ne ke ituletse ka tidimalo ko morago like a parcel. He was pi**ed a tsamaa a rogana le banna ba dicombi mo tseleng and even threatening to drop off and fight them on the spot. I had no strength to react to anything.

Mogoma after this incident told me he wanted to move to Lobatse because the baby mama was harassing him. I approved it and thought maybe the distance will make a difference. Kante kea ikaketsa

Fast accelerating after moruti relocated to Lobatse I told myself it was going to be easy to break up with him. I'd check up on him over the weekends things got better for a few weeks. We would have arguments as usual but I would keep quiet mo tseleng he'd taunt me with words yaaka nako tsohle. At the end of the day I would kneel before him and ask for forgiveness, I was that "submissive". I was told gore ke bodipa and he has never met anyone like me, he would remedy that by a hug as a sign of forgiving me. I had lost weight even my mom could see that I wasn't happy. I was open to her about my relationships but she had no idea about this one though she knew I was involved with someone.

I told him I wanted out because I wasn't happy. It wasn't my first time ke mo raa yalo and whenever I said it was over the phone, I didn't trust him. I felt more scared for my life than safe around him. I had an advantage because he was too far. Well he did tell me he was going to kill himself after that. I didn't care then, I was looking for a way to get my life back, he would call more than 50 times a ikopa maitshwarelo. I received a call from a man attesting to be his uncle, I asked him what he wanted and he begged me to come for counselling and reconciliation because apparently moruti had taken snake poison and was very sick. I told him I had to think about it. He called me again the following day, I told him I couldn't come over alone ka gore I don't trust the man of God. I was accompanied by Seneo to Lobatse that day. In front of them he still said the same words, that because I'm using my beauty to get men's attention and that I can date whoever I want.At the end of the day we were reconciled though ne ke sa wela. I still wanted out, I would often question God about it. I prayed for a way out because I couldn't run away.

One Saturday I was told we had to go to South Africa to see one of the most influential bishops one on one before marrying me,mo go ene I had to be delivered pele. I was excited and prepared for it, I lost my phone the day before we took off. Moruti said he'll sort it out when we get back. While we were in South Africa we started arguing over everything including where to buy something to eat. Sunday night, in sa kana, I borrowed his phone to login to my fb account. It was weird that I had completely forgotten my password, and so did he even though he used to login and out of my account.

After that I gave up kere I'll retrieve it when we get home. A minute after that he broke down, I tried to get him to tell me what was wrong. He said to me "I feel like something bad is going to happen. I feel it in my spirit. I think mmagwee nnana is going to do something bad so that you dump me" I assured him nothing bad is going to happen ke ha a wela sebete.

We got back home, he proposed a day after that and I said yes. I still had no phone at that time. Took my mom's tab and managed to login after a long struggle of attempts. I opened my messages ka fithela mathata, baby mama had attached my engagement pic and sent me messages tse di makatsang. She told me I built my relationship ka dikeledi tsaagwe and that if I think I'll go anywhere with it her and I still have a long way to go. She accused me of being the reason moruti doesn't take care of his kids. She also made it known to me moruti has 4 kids. Ha ke santse ke gakgametse she revealed to me that her and moruti spent a night together the day before I was proposed. She forwarded me screenshots of their conversation to vindicate what she was talking about. I saw a part where he denied me and told her he could never date me.

I confronted him about it and he denied the whole thing even though there was evidence. When he saw I was serious about leaving that's when he confessed, everything happened before we went to sa. I was done for real this time, he threatened me afterwards and told me I'm his wife and he is not going anywhere. He called my best friend a mmolella gore she is not a good friend if she allowed me to make that kind of a decision. He called Seneo from there begging her to talk to me and even went as far as talking to my grandmom in my absence in attempt to get me back.

He'd send me messages telling me gore he is not letting me go because he introduced me to a lot of men of God who now know that I'm his future wife. Lol! He would tell me he is sending his uncles whether I like it or not he was going to marry me. It took more than 2 months a ntshetse morago but he eventually stopped. I didn't feel safe walking around alone. I was looking over my shoulder wherever I went and I'd miss school at times. I was depressed, and I'd spend most of the time alone my mind replaying everything. It took a great deal to get over it, he even recently called just to "check" on me even though he has a girlfriend.

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