09/12/2023
i passed by some kids
playing in an open
field. they laughed,
while i wished that i
was a kid again.
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(12)
08/12/2023
i can never write
anything about
love, for all i felt
in my life is
heartbreak.
07/12/2023
that one person who
will immediately know
what i feel simply by
looking into my eyes.
06/12/2023
why do we forget the
happiest moments
but we remember the
saddest ones?
05/12/2023
if i can only lay on my
bed without tears
streaming down my
cheeks...
04/12/2023
and beyond the chaos
of this world, lies our
hands, locked unto
each other.
03/12/2023
you will never be
half of my life,
for you are the
entirety of it.
30/11/2023
oh how painful
would it be to
rewatch every
kathniel movie
30/11/2023
the last time i checked, i was watching ‘she’s dating the gangster.’ now, i am still left speechless over the news that kathniel broke up. : ((
29/11/2023
spotify wrapped daw,
pero hindi nailagay do’n
ang boses mo. 'yon pa
naman ang paborito
kong musika.
28/11/2023
laban, kahit para
sa sarili mo na lang.
27/11/2023
“wala akong nararamdaman para sa ’yo.”
“hayaan mo lang akong mahalin ka.”
27/11/2023
I’M DESPERATE.
honestly, due to the aches that this world has inflicted upon me, i became so desperate for a lot of things: i never had anyone to lean on. maybe that is why i am so desperate to have friends; i am desperate to have a circle that i can run to when i am getting showered with problems, that i can constantly talk to, and that i can treasure for the rest of my existence. desperately, i try to fit myself in a lot of friendship circles that I am deeply knowledgeable that i do not belong to — it’s just me and my desperate self, trying to befriend people. i have never received any recognition from anyone that exists in my life. no one applauded me throughout my successes and no one provided me comfort when i felt so low due to the overflowing mistakes and defeats that have come into my life. maybe that is why i am desperate to prove something to the world. i want to be congratulated and recognized at least once, not solely acknowledged when i commit a mistake. i join contests and exert my utmost. i deprive myself from sleep, just to get high grades, and be acknowledged for my wit. i never get what i want. my shoes would be barely fitting on my feet as five years has already passed since it was bought, but i will still not be bought a new one. maybe that is why i am so desperate of proving to myself and to the world that i am not entirely deprived of the things that i need and want. when i receive something, though not that valuable, i will automatically flaunt it on social media to ease the ache and hide the truth that i am being hindered of having the things that i want and need. i’m going to be honest, this world has been so cruel to me. i do not receive the love that i deserve, or maybe even need. i am not treated the way that a normal person should be treated. maybe that is why i am so desperate of completely disappearing from this world. i want every inch of pain to come into an end. i am never truly desperate; it’s just that i am not loved that i seek for things that would mask the harsh truth of my existence.
26/11/2023
it’s either i’ll pretend
or they’ll judge me.
26/11/2023
i apologize too much
that i forget about how
the world has to
apologize to me too.
25/11/2023
https://www.wattpad.com/story/356912903
hello. : )) so, as you guys know, i am writing a novel. since first draft pa lang naman ang isinusulat ko, naisipan kong ilagay muna sa wattpad ang mga maisusulat kong chapters, para lang naman may inspiration ako to persist. so, check it out!!!
25/11/2023
that one moment still
remains buried in my
heart, but i can’t help
but wonder, what if it
did not happen?
21/11/2023
umiiyak ka na naman.
nakapapagod, ’no?
pero wala tayong
magawa, kasi heto na
ang takbo ng mga gabi
natin — ang malungkot.
21/11/2023
after all the efforts,
all i ever ask in return
is a little bit of appreciation,
yet no one even dares to
provide that.
19/11/2023
dahil sa isang museo
ng mga pinakamagandang
bagay sa mundo ay ikaw
lang ang makikita ko.
19/11/2023
michelle dee might not have
taken home the crown, but
she has brought overflowing
pride to our country solely by
representing it, and i am
beyond proud of her for that.
congratulations, michelle dee!
18/11/2023
i’m not that same
smart kid that i
used to be and it
hurts realizing it.
17/11/2023
they expect from me,
and i expect too much
from myself, that’s why
i’ll never be good enough.
16/11/2023
how it hurts to
realize that i was
never good, i was
just trying hard.
15/11/2023
payapa ako
sa mga
panata mo.
14/11/2023
naaawa na rin ako
sa sarili ko. hirap
na hirap na siya.
12/11/2023
kapag umiiyak ako at
dumaraan sa harap ng
salamin ay napapangiti
ako. ayaw ko rin palang
makita ang sarili ko na
umiiyak at malungkot.
11/11/2023
sana ang pag-amin ay
’sing-dali lang ng kung
paano kita hanapin
sa gitna ng mga tao.
10/11/2023
napanood ko ’yong performance nina vice ganda, jackie, and cianne sa magpasikat 2023 ng it’s showtime. walang lumapat sa mukha ko kun’di puro luha, pero hindi ko mabilang ’yong mga tumatakbo sa utak ko.
na-realize ko kasi, hindi na ako 'yong taong iniisip kung ano 'yong sasabihin ng iba. hindi na ako 'yong taong iniisip 'yong standards ng iba. ako na 'yong taong mas iniisip 'yong sasabihin ng sarili ko sa ’kin.
kung makakausap ko 'yong sarili ko from years ago, ano kaya ang sasabihin niya sa ’kin? ikakahiya niya kaya ako? kasi siya, marami siyang pangarap, e. marami rin siyang achievements. sana kahit papa’no nagagawa kong maabot 'yong mga pinangarap niya. sana kahit papa’no ay nagagawa kong mapantayan 'yong achievements niya. kasi gusto kong ako pa rin 'yong batang ako, e. gusto kong kung sakaling makita ko 'yong dating ako at makausap siya, gusto kong sabihin niyang proud siya sa ’kin. kasi ako, sobrang proud ko sa kaniya.
marami siyang pinagdaanan para marating 'tong point ng buhay na 'to. pero sana proud siya sa 'kin sa kung nasaan man ako ngayon. palagi kasi akong sinisisi ng tao na malaki 'yong doubts ko sa sarili ko, pero palagi ko ring iniisip na 'yong mga naiisip ko sa sarili ko, hindi kaya 'yon din ang iisipin ng batang ako tungkol sa ’kin? ewan. basta sana, kung hindi ko man marating 'yong gusto ng batang ako, kasi marami na ring nagbago, e, sana kahit papa'no ay makagawa ako ng mga bagay na makapagpapasaya sa kaniya.
10/11/2023
titingnan niyo pa rin ba ako sa parehong paraan kapag wala na ang titulong ‘with honors’ sa ilalim ng pangalan ko?
09/11/2023
salamat at nandiyan ka.
08/11/2023
masanay ka na sa
presensiya ko. wala
naman na akong
balak na iwan ka pa.
07/11/2023
alam mo kayang bawat
tula ko ay tungkol sa ’yo?
ikaw lang naman kasi
ang gusto kong paksa.
gusto kita.
05/11/2023
ganito pala kasarap
sa pakiramdam na
makausap ka ulit.
04/11/2023
ang kabaliktaran ng
libro ay lisis. anak nina
linanay at litatay.
03/11/2023
paano ko ba masasabi
sa ’yong nasasaktan ako
kung ako lang ang
nag-iisip na may tayo?
02/11/2023
naghahabol tayo sa
mga taong ayaw sa
atin at inaayawan
natin 'yong mga
naghahabol sa ’tin.
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