Freo Central - Convenience Store

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Freo Central - Convenience Store Hello customer! Welcome to Freo Central. Please stop stealing from our store.

Hello customers!Something mysterious keeps happening to our communal soap bar in the bathroom, perhaps some form of vand...
29/02/2024

Hello customers!
Something mysterious keeps happening to our communal soap bar in the bathroom, perhaps some form of vandalism by a prankster who is mad our Hot! Hot! Hot! Pizza Combo was raised from $12.99 to $32.99. We are sorry, but we have gone to therapy and learned our worth. Please stop doing whatever you're doing to our soap, we only have one and our manager takes it home every night for his personal use.
Thank you!

Hello customers!Unfortunately, I have an important announcement. Due to an excessive amount of shoplifters being named J...
29/02/2024

Hello customers!
Unfortunately, I have an important announcement. Due to an excessive amount of shoplifters being named James, men named James are no longer allowed in our store. Our entire Doritos stock was depleted. We don't know why they're all named James but we here at Freo Central are assuming its some type of pent up aggression because their name doesn't make sense. You are only one guy, you're not James you are a single Jame. Hopefully the local Jame population can all get the therapy they need. Any Jame caught on the premises will be dealt with out back.
Thank you for your cooperation.

09/10/2022

I'm only posting new content on twitter now because I keep getting banned on fb. Check image for twitter @

09/10/2022

They're outside!!!!!!!!

09/10/2022

Help

07/07/2022

Hello customers!
Sorry the store was closed for so long, our manager dropped the only key and we were locked out until someone broke in through a back window thinking there was something to steal.

Hello customers! Did you forget St Patrick's day? It seems like a lot of our customers did! We have 673 assembled plates...
19/03/2022

Hello customers!
Did you forget St Patrick's day? It seems like a lot of our customers did! We have 673 assembled plates of saint pats food ready to go, now for half off. Come grab a plate, our entire storage room is full.

Hello customers!Fresh tea available today. Get a free cup with every purchase.
19/03/2022

Hello customers!
Fresh tea available today. Get a free cup with every purchase.

Hello customers! In order to celebrate the 37th birthday of Sonic the Hedgehog, our staff will hold a celebration in the...
15/03/2022

Hello customers!
In order to celebrate the 37th birthday of Sonic the Hedgehog, our staff will hold a celebration in the staff room. The first 27 customers will be able to enjoy a slice of hedgehog loaf with our wonderful staff!
No children under 12 allowed. Thank you for understanding.

Hello customers! Please do not use the door. You have been warned. This is here for your safety. staff will not be held ...
13/03/2022

Hello customers!
Please do not use the door. You have been warned. This is here for your safety. staff will not be held responsible for any chaos that ensues should the door be opened and cannot come to your aid.

Hello customers!This is a reminder to keep your eyes to the shelves and floors only while browsing the store. Please do ...
12/03/2022

Hello customers!
This is a reminder to keep your eyes to the shelves and floors only while browsing the store. Please do not look at the walls, and especially do not look at the corners. If you happen to glance at them by mistake, please look away as quickly as possible. Do NOT under any circumstances "double take". Turn around, and forget what you think you may have seen. Thank you for shopping with Freo Central, have a great day :)

Hello customers!Someone left their dogs tied up outside the store, and they have been aggressive toward entering and exi...
10/03/2022

Hello customers!
Someone left their dogs tied up outside the store, and they have been aggressive toward entering and exiting customers. Please come get your dogs immediatly.

Hello customers!One of you has forgotten your lunch in one of the newly installed ceiling toasters provided for your con...
10/03/2022

Hello customers!
One of you has forgotten your lunch in one of the newly installed ceiling toasters provided for your convenience. Rest assured after taking this photo, I packed the sandwich neatly away behind the abandoned lunches in the staff fridge, should you return for it. Id have to have you miss out on your lunch!
For those of you reading this, let's have a surprise question. What are your favorite sandwich ingredients and also what is your social security number. Thanks! Have a Freo day.

Hello customers!Due to recent environmental concerns over the usage of plastic soap containers, we have switched to shar...
10/03/2022

Hello customers!
Due to recent environmental concerns over the usage of plastic soap containers, we have switched to shared soap bars in our restrooms. Be sure to scrub up after you visit the the ol stink pot! Haha! Mention washing your hands in the bathroom during your next visit for a chance to be entered into a raffle for 10 free Coca Cola beverages.

Hello customers! Unfortunately, we've had to add some new signage in our home improvement area of the store. Kent, (form...
08/03/2022

Hello customers!
Unfortunately, we've had to add some new signage in our home improvement area of the store.
Kent, (formally known as Dale until The Incident) requested the sign be made due to an unusual amount of requests for this particular kind of item.
Have a Freo day!

Hello customers!Unfortunately, I have an important announcement. Due to a strange incident on the premises yesterday whe...
08/03/2022

Hello customers!
Unfortunately, I have an important announcement. Due to a strange incident on the premises yesterday where an entity adjacent being harassed several staff members named Dale, customers that share this name are no longer allowed on site. All staff named Dale have been through a renaming ceremony and are now safe. The ceremony is, however, expensive and not provided at our location, so it is not available to customers.
If your name is Dale, do not attempt to enter our store. You will be removed by the necessary authorities at your own expense.
This is for your own protection.
We do not seek to harm you.

Hello customers!Due to previous complaints, we have now installed two functioning toasters for all of your toasting need...
08/03/2022

Hello customers!
Due to previous complaints, we have now installed two functioning toasters for all of your toasting needs! Be sure to get your next deli sandwich toasted at your own convenience. To celebrate the new additions, we're putting all bread products on sale this week. Use discount code LOAFINAROUND55 for 50% off any bread or bread adjacent item.

Hello customers!New in aisle 3 along with the other organic beauty products, we have a special new addition to the store...
07/03/2022

Hello customers!
New in aisle 3 along with the other organic beauty products, we have a special new addition to the store!
Use code THNKNBOUTDEMBEANS for 50% off your first Heins Beans nail polish. This discount code also works for any other of our Heins Beans beauty and relaxation products.

Hello customers!Please stop doing this to our toilets.
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Please stop doing this to our toilets.

03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Fresh and HOT HOT HOT!! Our new Flamin' Hot pizza will sizzle your tastebuds and pucker your behind if you know what I mean! Be sure to stop in and order one today. Available in small, regular, and JUMBO sizes. Price start at $12.95

Hello customers!Due to shortages, our convenience story deli will have to limit the amount of cheese we put on each burg...
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Due to shortages, our convenience story deli will have to limit the amount of cheese we put on each burger. Unfortunately, this is due to a recent cheese shortage. We hope you understand!

Hello customers!Ready for a fancy night in? Stop by our convenience store today for all of the ingredients you need to m...
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Ready for a fancy night in? Stop by our convenience store today for all of the ingredients you need to make your night speical.

Hello customers!Hot n fresh, our ready to eat selection of foods are waiting for your lunch break! Bring a colleague in ...
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Hot n fresh, our ready to eat selection of foods are waiting for your lunch break! Bring a colleague in and receive a free small coca-cola beverage with any purchase.

Hello customers!New in store today! Buy one get one half off with the code FINGERLIKNGOOD
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
New in store today! Buy one get one half off with the code FINGERLIKNGOOD

Hello customers!Served hot n fresh, come check out our new Twix bars!
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Served hot n fresh, come check out our new Twix bars!

Hello customers!Does anyone know who this dog belongs to? He keeps standing outside the store at night begging to be let...
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Does anyone know who this dog belongs to? He keeps standing outside the store at night begging to be let into the store. Sometimes I have to push him back with a broom. Every night he tries harder and harder to get into the store. He started following me home. This morning when I left for work, he was waiting for me and he bit my car tire and popped it. I had to run to work and I was late because I didn't have any bus money.
Please come get your dog its terrorizing m;y store and now my family

Hello customers! Due to a packaging malfunction, we have had to package peanut butter in an interesting way. A pallet of...
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Due to a packaging malfunction, we have had to package peanut butter in an interesting way. A pallet of glass jars collapsed. What a mess! Dont worry, the glass shards have been scooped out and the peanut butter repackaged in environmentally friendly 0.1% recycled plastics. Come pick some up today! Seriously we have a whole load of em.
Use discount code NUTTBUTT for 10% off and receive a free small size coca cola beverage!

Hello customers!Fresh from the nearby ocean we have some stunning lobster ice cream. It is made with real chunks of lobs...
03/06/2021

Hello customers!
Fresh from the nearby ocean we have some stunning lobster ice cream. It is made with real chunks of lobster! The ice cream base is butter flavor and adds a nice touch. Be sure to check it out next time you stop in to visit our store.

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Hello customers! Fresh and HOT HOT HOT!! Our new Flamin' Hot pizza will sizzle your tastebuds and pucker your behind if you know what I mean! Be sure to stop in and order one today. Available in small, regular, and JUMBO sizes. Price start at $12.95

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